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How a Hardcore Garden Clear – Out Became My Accidental Workout

Would I call myself a morning person? No. But when you’ve been falling asleep to audiobooks by 1AM and waking up at 7 or 8AM like a functioning human, I’d say that’s progress.

Today was one of those surprisingly productive days. Instead of my usual morning routine- coffee, scrolling, and pretending the world doesn’t exist – I was in the garden. Cleaning. Before 9AM. I don’t even recognise myself.

Winter Junk, Dog Mayhem, and My Future Lawn

The mission? Purge the winter debris in preparation for my gardener’s grand return. The back garden was not cute when I moved in, and after months of wild British weather, it looked like a post-apocalyptic wasteland. But progress is happening – she’s levelling all the grass, and honestly, it’s already looking less like a jungle and more like a garden.

Of course, before the transformation, there was the mess. Dead leaves, forgotten wood, rogue plant pots, and the occasional mystery object that I definitely didn’t put there. Oh, and dog poo. So much dog poo. At one point, I considered hiring a crime scene clean-up crew, but I powered through.

The Unexpected Workout

Here’s the thing: I did not intend to work out today. But apparently, my body had other plans.

Do you know how much effort it takes to lift bags of soil and wood chippings? More than I was emotionally prepared for.

  • It’s basically weightlifting, except instead of a gym, you have judgmental birds watching.
  • It involves deadlifts, squats, and tricep work – all unintentional, all regrettable.
  • There’s a high risk of dog-related distractions (and stepping incidents).

By the end of it, I’d done more exercise than I have in months. My arms were jelly, my legs questioned every decision I’ve ever made, and I’m pretty sure I unlocked a hidden core workout just by trying to stay upright on damp grass.

Garden Glow-Up & Future Plans

Despite the chaos, the garden is getting there. The dream? A cozy outdoor space where I can sit, sip tea, and pretend I’m in a magazine spread instead of my own backyard. Maybe even one of those fairy light setups that make everything look effortlessly magical.

For now, I’ll settle for the fact that I survived today’s accidental workout. And if I wake up sore tomorrow? I’ll consider it a sign that I’ve officially done my exercise quota for the year.

Final Thoughts: Productivity, But Make It Accidental

Would I voluntarily sign up for another full-body workout disguised as “gardening”? Absolutely not. But am I slightly impressed with myself for surviving it? Yes.

So, to anyone wondering if they should get outside and tackle their own garden situation – do it. Or, at the very least, read about it while wrapped in a blanket, because that’s just as valid.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an audiobook to fall asleep to before 1AM.

Mellow

 

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