Why More Women Are Choosing Motherhood Later
- Career & Stability: Many women delay starting families while building careers or achieving financial security.
- Finding the Right Partner: Not everyone meets “the one” by 30 – or ever – but that doesn’t mean they’re giving up on motherhood.
- Medical Advances: Improvements in IVF success rates mean women now have more viable options later in life.
The Silent Judgement Problem
Here’s the part we don’t talk about enough: society still judges women for making reproductive choices outside the ‘ideal’ window. Women in their 40s going through IVF report being told they’re selfish, risking their child’s health, or “trying to have it all.”
One 44-year-old told Darling Mellow, “It’s funny – no one shames men for becoming dads at 50. But for women, the minute you’re over 40, people act like you’re playing Russian roulette with motherhood.”
What the Numbers Say
- IVF success rates for women aged 40–42 are around 12% per cycle – compared to 32% for women under 35 (HFEA, 2024)
- Women over 40 now represent nearly 1 in 5 IVF patients in the UK
- Donor eggs are used in 60% of IVF treatments for women over 43
The Real Barriers
- Cost: Private IVF costs range from £5,000–£8,000 per cycle – often more with donor eggs.
- NHS Access: Most NHS trusts don’t fund IVF for women over 40, creating postcode inequality.
- Emotional Load: Going through IVF solo means no partner to share the logistics, costs, or emotional fallout.
Stories From the Queue
We spoke with several women currently navigating IVF at 40+. Their reasons were different, but their determination was the same.
“I froze my eggs at 37 thinking I had loads of time. Then I blinked, turned 42, and realised it’s now or never.” – Anna, 42
“After my divorce, people assumed kids were off the table. But this is my life – not theirs.” – Priya, 44
How The Conversation Needs to Change
In The Clubhouse, we talk about what doesn’t make the school-gate chat. And here’s the truth: reproductive timelines are no longer one-size-fits-all. Late motherhood is here – and growing – whether society is ready for it or not.
We need to move the conversation from “Should she?” to “How can we support her?”
Resources for UK Women Considering IVF at 40+
- Human Fertilisation & Embryology Authority (HFEA) – success rates, clinic finders, and legal guidance
- Fertility Network UK – peer support and advice
- NHS IVF Information – check funding eligibility by region
The Clubhouse Takeaway
Motherhood doesn’t have an expiry date – but our attitudes might need one. If you’re in that IVF queue at 40+, you’re not alone. In fact, you’re part of one of the fastest-growing groups of mothers in the UK.
Join The Clubhouse
Pour a glass, bring your real self, and join the conversation mums have off the record.