But I started to notice something. They would freeze. Or ignore me. Or worst of all, they would get nervous. Not safe. Not aware. Just anxious.
So I stopped saying it. And this is what I say instead.
Why Be Careful Does Not Help
- It is too vague. What exactly should they be careful of?
- It triggers fear instead of building awareness.
- It puts all the trust back on me instead of developing their own judgement.
What I Say Instead
- Is your footing steady? Encourages body awareness.
- Notice how high you are. Builds spatial awareness.
- Use both hands. Clear, calm instruction.
- What is your plan here? Sparks problem solving and confidence.
- I am here if you need me. Offers safety without control.
What Changed
They started thinking for themselves. Checking their own body. Noticing risks. Making better choices.
And I started staying calmer. More present. Less reactive.
Final Thought
This is not about being a perfect parent. It is about speaking in a way that builds courage, not fear. That teaches awareness, not panic. That strengthens trust, not dependence.
Because one day, they will be doing all of this without me. And I want their inner voice to sound calm, capable and strong.
Sending love always,
Mellow