What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Mum: No-Fluff Advice from the Frontline

By Darling Mellow · 25 May 2025 · For Mums

No one tells you that you’ll cry over dropped toast. Or that motherhood sometimes feels more like survival than a sacred bond. So this is it – the post I needed before I became a mum. Not the Pinterest version. The real one. From one knackered, cake-crumb-covered human to another.

Here’s what I wish I knew before becoming a mum – unfiltered, unglamorous, and completely true.

1. Love Doesn’t Always Arrive on Day One

Everyone talks about the rush of love. What if you feel nothing at first except “WTF just happened to my body?” That’s normal. Love can arrive slow, quiet, and growing – not fireworks. And that doesn’t make you a bad mum.

2. You’ll Feel Touched Out… and Guilty About It

There’s nothing like having a small person glued to you 24/7 to make you desperate for personal space. It’s OK to crave a moment alone. Wanting five bloody minutes doesn’t mean you don’t adore them. It means you’re human.

3. You Will Lose Yourself (Temporarily)

You might not recognise yourself for a bit – mentally, emotionally, or in the mirror. That doesn’t mean you’re gone. It means you’re transforming. You’re still in there, under the milk stains and mum guilt. I promise.

4. Baby “Essentials” Are 80% Marketing

You don’t need a £400 changing table. You need wipes, a safe place to plonk them down, and the resilience of a nightclub bouncer. Strip it back. Babies need YOU – not a designer nursery.

5. Some Days You’ll Regret It – And That’s OK

You’re still a good mum. Even when you daydream about your old life, or feel like running out the front door and not looking back. Those feelings are real and valid – they just don’t get framed on Instagram.